Don't you ever just feel burnt out..those times where you are just out of it..this past weekend/week was just super emotionally draining and rough. Along side of a crazy amount of schoolwork I just started training again for cycling. I got really frustrated with homework, sore from riding, and just felt down. Right now I want more than anything to be done with finals and just get finished with the semester, don't get me wrong this has been another amazing semster but I am just beyond done with it...I am no mood to study, I've been slacking on so many things, I feel like my quiet times and walk has just been no existant and ya I don't feel that happy..Everything from Ultimate frisbee to movies to hanging out just feels ugh...and I hate it..mainly because i am so hyper & energetic it just is so weird when I'm not. Then what kills me is when others get down because they always count of me to be funny, lively, and just down right goofy. I feel like I've just not had as much fun. I've been grumpier to my roommates, less out-going, and just not on the right track..I don't understand. How does this happen??? I sometimes wish you could just push the easy button or pause on life. Maybe its because I just want things to slow down..time just goes by quicker and quicker. It could be also my childhood house is about to be sold and I am just unsure about whats up ahead. Its hard not knowing what the future is going to be like..I get nervous and afraid things won't be ok. Even though I have doubts and fears I really just need to look to God right now for peace..If you see me around say hi, because I just feel out of it. I guess I could say this has been a "dry-spell" for me spiritually just because i don't feel I've gotten anywhere. Lately when I've been reading the word or just praying I don't even feel like God is close to me..even though in my head I know He is right there. It seems like a can't hear him...but God brought me to this desert for some reason so I just pray that before he brings me out of the desert I can understand why he brought me here in the first place. I am not too worried though in a couple days I should be back to my bouncy self just right now I FEEL SO UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Taylor, don't me why I'm up at 3:58 am but here I am. Just read your blog. It's so amazing to watch you grow from that scared "little boy" into an amazing young man. Take heart (from your very old aunt~but not as old as her sister) this too shall pass. I never thought about how the sale of your home on Pike would affect your or Annie. Even though you're feeling...whatever it is...just remember I think you're doing great. Best of luck with getting through finals and enjoy your break, you deserve it!! Take care~Aunt Debbie
ReplyDeleteI, like you, have a personality that is kinda swingy. Its a great part of who we are but sometimes I wish it didn't contribute to my rollercoaster relationship with Christ. The intimate times are so incredible and charismatic and it feels impossible to be in a valley,impossible not to hear God in everything. But then these times hit and getting close again seems impossible. There is something holding me back and I don't have the energy or will to fight it. Lifes purposes aren't as clear, my purposes and potential seem menial. I will be praying for you. I know he will reveal his plan. I have come to some conclusions that may or may not help you.
ReplyDelete1. For me it is sin that is cutting me off."If I cherished sin in my heart, the Lord wouldn't have listened." Psalm 66:18."Come now, and let us reason together," says Yahweh: "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.Though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." Isaiah 1:15-18.
Also this is a time of humbling. "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5. George Arliss said "Humility is the only true wisdom by which we prepare our minds for all the possible changes of life."
2. Christianity is a race and it isn't easy. Sometimes we have to surrender to persevere.
Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 1 Corinthians 9:24-26
3. Maybe I came to a point where I thought I could do it on my own and God is going to show him self to be mighty in my life. He will show that he doesn't need my help, I need his help. Back to humility
4. The devil is loving this lack of zeal and maybe I need to fake it to make it. Only solution read the bible when there are "better" things to do, pray diligently despite feelings, trust He will rescue! i haven't gotten very far in this. But I pray you have
Thanks!
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